Every thing lost must be grieved
Earlier this month I was engulfed by grief.
It was the anniversary of my father’s death, and even though this was 15 years ago now, the waves of grief I feel now are stronger than ever.
For days I’d been noticing the grief creeping in.
Like an uninvited guest sitting in the corners of my day to day life, I acknowledged its presence but it wasn’t causing any trouble so I let it be. Then I started noticing more grief, in more corners. It wasn’t until Saturday when the grief really took hold of me, and I realised what I was grieving for.
The anniversary of my father’s death was just the piece I needed to domino all the other pieces. The waves of sadness, silent screams, back arching pain of grief and tears streaming down my cheeks was for so much more than my father's passing.
See, grief is so often associated with a physical death, but something I have come to understand is that ALL loss must be grieved.
Grief, or any emotion, that is not felt and expressed stays in our body, until it can be.
It surprises me sometimes, how intense the grief can feel for something seemingly insignificant or sometimes intangible. And, as the year comes to a close, recognition of what has been lost through the year seems to be amplified.
For me, there’s been a loss of a friendship that I valued and knowing I won't be celebrating Christmas with them. It’s my relationship dynamics changing, highlighted by our first Christmas living together. It’s letting go of a future I had envisioned a few years ago now that no longer is possible, and even though I don’t want that future anymore, there’s a strange letting go of the hopes and dreams, like I’m grieving for my former self. AND there’s the letting go of parts of my identity and old beliefs as I evolve. There is acceptance, but only in feeling fully the emotion of grief as I let go.
Like a snake shedding skin, I am already emerging anew.
I felt no real resistance in letting these go, no grappling for what was, rather a deep knowing that this old life must be shed for the life I am creating and the person I am now becoming. It still hurt though and all loss must be grieved.
And so, as you come to the close of 2021 I invite you to take stock of your year. Maybe you'll notice feelings of sadness and grief sitting in the corners of your life too.
You may feel the loss of a
Relationship or a stage of a relationship
An ending of a chapter in your career
A job loss or a change of circumstances
Places that had meaning to you that you can no longer visit, or have changed
Traditions - like going home for Christmas
A tightly held belief that has been disproven, your reality challenged
Parts of yourself that aren't being expressed anymore
And none of this is inherently ‘bad’. Life is full of endings, of change, of loss, and it is full of new beginnings, hope and unexpected, delightful surprises too. There’s beauty and grace in it all.
Today, I feel that my transformation of grief into gold is complete.
This was relatively fast, thanks to a combination of actively releasing raw emotion, clearing subconscious beliefs where I felt any resistance, walking in nature and journaling.
I’m now feeling light and have immense gratitude for all that has been together with a warm anticipation for all that lays ahead in 2022.
I am sharing all this because I'm sure there are many people feeling the these emotions, and if you’re feeling the weight of sadness or grief as we come closer to Christmas and New Year I want you to know there is support available for you.
Emotional clearing sessions with me are a powerful way to shift heavy emotions, to let go of what is no longer serving you, so that you can move forward into the new year with more freedom, and a clear purpose.
You can book your clearing session with me here.
If you’re someone who is already planning big things for 2022 and you know this means creating deep and meaningful change in your life, then my program Nurture may be just what is needed to support you in realising your greatest intentions for the year ahead.
Book a free call with me to find out if this is right for you.